Why I can’t divorce Nigeria, by Aisha Eniola


The news that is recurring more than the pandemic is the ongoing insurgency in Nigeria mostly northern states.
You get friends phoning you and asking, is your family okay? I can’t believe Nigeria has come to this and are you still proud to be a Nigerian?
I’m always left with an expression, is that a rhetorical question? Do you think I should divorce Nigeria, and fit in by bashing my own country?
The answer always is never.
I will always be proud of being a Nigerian, we may be going through a down patch, but life has ups and downs, and I want to be part of how Nigeria gets back up.


The phrase that always comes to mind in regards to the bashing is “people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones”.
Several countries that I can name have corruption history, and are presently corrupt, but they mysteriously never get the same negative coverage as Nigeria does.


The impact of that narrative is truly stigmatizing for all Nigerians, but I refuse to let that be how my country is typecast. Of course we have the bad side, which country doesn’t, but we have a whole lot of good too.


Why I personally have invested interest in Nigeria, was when I won as a councillor. My victory wasn’t acknowledged in mainstream media in my residing country, but I had messages, articles from Nigerian media and citizens which truly left me speechless and emotional.


I had messages of praise from Igbos, Hausa, Yorubas, and it showed that despite the history of tribalism, we also have the power to love and forgive ,and come together in times of joy and sorrow. Not all countries have that skill.
Nigeria’s culture has molded me into the person I am today.


We always knew growing up in my home we may live in Britain, but when in the house, and the doors are shut, we are in Nigeria.
Eating West African food united us in the household, and improved our palates for pepper. (I think it’s a silent fact when it comes to Nigerian cuisine the hotter the better).
What I always enjoyed is our family’s evening ritual of watching “Journalists Hangout”.
The eloquence of the reporting, and structural dissection of the news to me contribute to the modernization of the news, and eliminate the ignorance surrounding the authenticity of Nigerian news.


The reporters are not afraid to be vocal, while analyzing the news they talk from the perspective that “Nigeria is a great nation, but we can be greater”, and their empathic tone to the plight of the masses, always makes me realize the little luxuries that we take for granted abroad.


Also, you may not believe it, I like the respect level that all Nigerians embody in some shape or form. You can be a lecturer, farmer, musician; we have that mentality that we have to respect our elders. You have to greet your parents in the morning before you cut your Abuja bread, when you are abroad. Seeing how people are disrespectful to their parents, for Nigerians mannerisms is always on point.


What astounds me is the portrayal of Nigeria, as squalid; we have areas that can frankly put Kensington to shame, but what amazes me, when I recently watched a documentary of residents in shantytown, was the resilience of the residents, their living proof of “if life gives you lemons you make lemonade” of it.


They have a church, they have floating shops, and little restaurants, and also have smiles and community spirit. It makes me know life is what you make it.


If these people who have all the reasons in the world to give up, choose to resist depression and embrace happiness, that fact adds more to my curiosity “why is it that people in rural areas live more fulfilling lives than people in metropolitan areas”.

I also found fascinating a woman working in a market struggling to just keep a roof over their family head, but amazingly they manage to instill in their children the value and importance of education, and a few years later you will hear that same person’s child just got accepted in Oxford and Harvard.


Call Nigerians anything, we don’t play with education, no matter what our circumstances are.
Wherever we are in the world we always thrive in our respected studies and industries.
Also a boy will make positive headlines all over the world for being able to do the most beautiful dance in the world, ballet outside, in the rain.
That shows your surroundings don’t define your destiny.


Also a young boy’s talent of being able to draw any person including the likes of Buhari, Tinubu really captivated the nation, and he had the honor of presenting his drawing to the French president Emmanuel Macron.
Through that, he was able to move his parents to better accommodation.


What I appreciate about Nigerians, and is not always noted is about the youth; they always examine their parents’ pre-existing condition, and use that as inspiration to find their passion, so they can reduce their suffering.


To me that is selfless, and shows the love all Nigerian youths have for their parents, and their tenacity to succeed, even the ones with limited resources.


What I love about being a Nigerian is our attitude ‘what affects one affects us all’, and wherever you are in the world you want to be kept in the loop with what’s going on.
Remember EndSars’ protest united Nigerians during a pandemic, and reduced the systematic rogue police brutality.


We the people have the power to resist hate and make more everlasting changes if we use our energy in the right way.
Instead of misplacing our anger at the bandits in a weird way, though I understand the level of banditry in the country has reached new heights of depravity.


There’s a link between illiteracy and insurgency.
When the children are not schooled and fed, they are obviously easy prey to being led up the wrong path by wolves in sheep’s clothing, vicious thugs, who disguise as crusaders to these misled youth.


What makes me sad that these children have wasted potential, and are prepared to die for their misguided cause, which shows the level of disenfranchisement in regards to being a well contributing citizen.It is unforgivable they kidnap children from hospitals, they rape women in front of their husbands.


How has Nigeria come to this? Is there no low these rogues won’t stoop to? Why are they inflicting pain on the most vulnerable of society?
What I know is that when people are ignoring the plight the violence is now spilling into other parts of the nation, and is uniting us in fear.
Now it lets politicians know if they don’t take action now, it will be very hard to govern a country that is unlivable.


I too experienced it recently when my family member was kidnapped. I remember the relief on my mum’s face when he was released. How can life get to the point, when the phone rings, your heart hangs on the balance in the fear that someone else has been held for ransom or even killed?


I want more to be done for the great country of Nigeria I want progressive leadership that can unite everyone and policies like “every child has to go to school for free”.
I want a distribution of wealth to the poor, when you see how the rich live and the other half live definitely that will contribute to the divide and distrust.


There’s a phrase I think heavily applies in regard to government officials ‘you can wear a white top if you go near someone with palm oil you too will get tarnished’.


The greedy politicians spoil the image of the majority of the good and trustworthy ones, and that’s the image to me that currently stains Nigeria.What I want the small handful of thieves to know is when you die you’re going to be at the same level as the poor people your stealing the money from.

There’s no hierarchy in the afterlife.


There is an evident link between corruption and instability in the nation.
‘Why is it do as I say, don’t do as I do’.
If the government wants respect and less upheaval, they have to display the highest moral compass, and there should be more transparency to alleviate doubts of wrongdoings.


Also, I think we should have a state of emergency declared.
What breaks my heart is that my mum said she won’t travel to Nigeria for the time being, because if she’s kidnapped who will pay for her ransom.
Again, how has life come to this?


I want urgent intervention before the negative side of us outweighs the good.
We the Nigerian diaspora should show the same passion, as we did with EndSars, contribute more to development and uplift our nation during this trying period.


I don’t even mind all the tribes getting together and forming some sort of union.
I’m the least tribalistic person due to my upbringing (my parents are from different tribes, and my mum had an Igbo godmother)
I think we can learn more from each other and work best together to improve our nation. I want a unifying symbol like my mum’s good friend the late Abiola.


I’m tired of shots fired at Nigeria through biased commentary about the ongoing crisis.
What the small handful of insincere officials should knowbis that if you think you’re taking from the nation. You’re actually robbing the great country, Nigeria of national pride.
Despite everything, I will always be happy to be a proud ambassador of Nigeria, and will never cut ties with the country that made me who I am, and for that I will always be eternally grateful.
I want to be part of the regrowth of the great country, Nigeria.

© AISHA ENIOLA
[email protected]